Tag Archive | "Moogle"

Donnie’s Dookie Disaster!


Almost all of you who read this blog know about our dog Donnie. For those of you who don’t, last year Chris and I adopted a dog who was already named Donnie. At the time he was 4, was owner released, and is a Terrier/Chihuahua mix. Luckily Donnie took on more of the Terrier traits and personality than the shakey Chihuahua.

We found out right away that Donnie wasn’t house trained, but at the time it wasn’t a problem since he was in a backyard. In December of last year, we moved into our current home which is an apartment and Donnie didn’t come with us right away. Instead we waited for us to get settled in so that we could bring him over, and we needed to save up for the massive $400.00 pet deposit.

When Donnie eventually joined us in February, we went to PetSmart to get him some stuff. After shopping, we spent about $230.00 on a crate for him, food, new water bowls and dishes, a pet bed, and some other stuff. The crate was so that he could be kept in it over night because the last thing we needed was to wake up and see a piss filled carpet and crap all over the place. We even got a crate one size bigger so that he would have a side to sleep on, with a little mattress pad of course, and room to walk around in. We also made sure that food and water bowls were in there too.

So far he has done well in the crate. He threw up once in it and I can’t remember any other accidents until yesterday morning.

Let me set it up for you all….

On the night of June 29th, Chris and I stayed up late. The last time Donnie went to use the restroom was close to 1 in the morning which would’ve made it the 30th. Typically Donnie is put away around 10-11 and not taken out until I wake up which varies between 9 and close to 11. On the morning of the 30th, Chris woke up at his usual time of 6:15 and went to the bathroom. He does this every morning but that time I heard him say…”oh goddamnit!” Of course that woke me up and when I looked in the direction of the bathroom, I saw Chris start to head towards the kitchen. I thought he was running late and that he was in a rush. Unfortunately I was wrong.

Chris said “oh goddamnit!” because he smelled shit. Originally he thought it was coming from Moogles litter box because we keep that in the bathroom. When he saw no evidence, he then started to look around on the floor. Nothing was there. When he went into the kitchen and looked at Donnie’s crate… he found the culprit.

In the crate there were two big piles of shit. One was of a regular consistency that was partially on the floor of the crate and partially on his little mattress, the other was very squishy and only half of that made it into the crate. The rest, lovingly, was on our kitchen tile. I offered to clean it up but Chris refused to let me get out of bed, knowing that once I did I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep.

Poor Chris took Donnie outside onto the patio, and then proceeded to clean out the kennel, gagging the entire time due to the horrible stench. It was so strong, and so putrid, that you could smell it throughout the entire apartment. I obviously had no clue since I was asleep when it happened, but as I started to wake up more my sense of smell kicked in. It was not pretty. I honestly thought he was going to vomit, and I know he thought so too because he told me.

Needless to say, Chris was a little late to work but we thought the crisis was over.

Oh how wrong I was AGAIN!

A few hours later, I woke up around 9:40 to the sound of Donnie’s nails “tap dancing” around on the floor of the kennel. Moogle was in bed with me so I knew she wasn’t antagonizing him. Since it was really loud, I yelled at Donnie to “shush it” so that I could lay in bed for a few more minutes.

The sound didn’t stop. I kept hearing the tippity tappity of his nails and I knew that something was up. I knew, in the pit of my stomach, that I was going to find a huge mess. I was correct. As I rounded the corner to the kitchen I could smell it. Chris got the easy round of his shit, I got the disaster.

It was everywhere, and when I say everywhere…. I mean it. It was all over the inside of his kennel. It almost looked like there was a layer of watery mud in there. It even sprayed out onto the tile floor. I could also see that there was a pretty decent amount of piss in there too.

I was so angry that I picked up the entire crate, being oh so careful not to spill the contents on myself or the carpet, and put the entire thing in our bathtub. I ran the water at a nice temperature, and showered the entire thing down… with Donnie inside of it.

After I was done with that, I moved him and the crate outside onto the patio. It was hot so I put him in the shade, gave him food and water with ice cubes inside of it, and then proceeded to mop down the kitchen tile.

I hoped that was the last of it, but I was wrong… for the third time.

A few hours later from hosing Donnie down in the shower, I saw him circling around the inside of his crate. Sometimes he does this when he is trying to find a spot to sit or lay down, but he instead chose to blow shit out of his ass… using a lot of force I might add. It came out so fast that I didn’t have enough time to run to the sliding glass door and get him out.

Great thing was, there were sound effects too. As soon as it squished out of his butt, I heard this “PFFFTTTTT!!!!” It was so loud that I was able to hear it loud and clear 10 feet away, and through our sliding glass door.

Since I wasn’t about to drag the crate back inside again, I flushed it out with water that I brought outside in a large bowl. You can all imagine how many trips I had to make going back and forth…

Thankfully, that was the last of his shit we had to worry about and he didn’t make a mess in his crate for the rest of the day. He also made it through the night without any mistakes and he just went outside to use the world as his toilet. Hopefully it was just a little stomach bug and it has passed, but I will be keeping a close eye on him and he is back in his crate for right now.

Donnie truly is living up to his nickname I gave him… Mr. Poopy Duper!

- She Who Has The Last Word

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Moogle the Terrible!


If you read the blog that was posted a few days ago, you would know that we have recently added to our family with our new kitten, Moogle.

She is a very cute cat. Very playful, she “speaks” to us when we wake up in the mornings and when we come home after being out, and she purrs so loud!

One huge side effect is that Moogle came equipped with dagger claws of DOOM! I am not exaggerating either folks. I speak the truth.

For the past 48 hours she has been kicking my ass and little by little, my body starts to resemble bloody swiss cheese.

Proof? You want proof? Here you go…

My left wrist

My left wrist

Shot of entire left thigh

Shot of entire left thigh

Shot of inner left thigh

Shot of inner left thigh

Left thigh above knee

Left thigh above knee

Inside of right thigh

Inside of right thigh

Right thigh, just to the left of knee

Right thigh, just to the left of knee

Upper right thigh

Upper right thigh

Outer right thigh

Outer right thigh

Needless to say I am in a lot of pain right now because a majority of those just happened within the past 30 minutes. She wanted to climb on up and decided to use my pants as her way up. I am wearing PJ pants and they are very thin. Her claws went right through the pants and into my poor, delicate skin.

Ouch… and ouch.

- She Who Has The Last Word

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There’s a New Gosselin in town…. Doppleganger!


Last night, Chris and I went to go run some errands. Our first stop was PetSmart to get more litter for Moogle, and some food for Donnie. We walked around the store for about 20 minutes and then proceeded to the check out counter. While Chris was unloading the items onto the conveyor belt, I gasped in horror.

What could have made me go two shades whiter than I already am?

I give you Exhibit A:

WTF?!?!?!?

And Exhibit B:

SRSLY?!?!?!?!

Some of you might not recognize the hairstyle abomination that is on top of that womans head, but it is the same crap that the bitch, AKA Kate Gosselin, sports on her noggin.

I remember reading a few weeks back an article on a gossip site where Kate was quoted saying that everybody wants her hair but not everyone can pull it off.

NOBODY SHOULD TRY AND PULL IT OFF!!

It’s a reverse mullet in the year 2009. Didn’t we leave the shitty hairstyles back in like 1989? Apparently not.

While I damaged my sight permanently by gazing upon this creature, I remembered that I owned an iPhone. I also remembered that it takes pretty decent images. I then also remebered how a certain writer for our local newspaper, the Fresno Bee, hates Kate in every way possible. That man is none other than Mike Oz (@mikeoz on Twitter).

His love hate of Kate makes me giggle. So I dedicate this blog to him.

After making it disgustingly obvious to our cashier and those behind me that I was taking pictures of this woman, we went to Smart and Final to pick up a few things. Sadly, Doppleganger Gosselin was spotted there as well.

Chris told me to take some more pictures of her since they would’ve been at a closer range, but I told him no because my iPhone would probably break. He laughed, but I knew deep down that I was correct. That hairdo atrocity is not worth me having a broken iPhone.

So… I hope you enjoyed our horror story, and remember – friends don’t let friends get the “Kate” hairstyle.

Spread the word my darlings.

- She Who Has The Last Word

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Great Moogly Googly!


For awhile now,  Chris and I have been talking about getting a cat. We both grew up having cats and dogs as pets, so having a kitten around would be great.

About a week and a half ago, we met up with some friends at Sonic when they were having their Free Root Beer Float night. One of the guys who met up with us, @DanielDanger on Twitter, was talking about his two kittens. We had seen pictures and video of them before and thought they were just too cute. Turns out, the person he got them from still had a kitten left. When we found out that the kitten would be free, we immediately said we wanted her but it would take some time due to us moving stuff around in the apartment to accomodate a kitten and other stuff.

On Saturday (two days ago), we went and picked up our little girl and named her Moogle. She is a tabby and tabbies typically have an “M” in their fur on their foreheads so Chris and I started to brainstorm for names that started with “M.” I Googled for popular cat names and came across a site that had a huge list for each letter of the alphabet. While scrolling through the “M” category, I saw Moogle. I am a HUGE Final Fantasy fan and have always loved the Moogles and Mog. I ran it by Chris and he thought it was cute so the name stuck. We seriously picked out a name for the cat before even getting her!

When we picked her up, the people were so nice that they gave us her litter box (that was cleaned out btw), the rest of the litter, the scooper, and her blanket. Chris and I were blown away by the generosity because we were planning on going to PetSmart right afterwards and purchasing that stuff. We did end up going to PetSmart anyways because we had to get her food, some toys, and food/water bowls. We had a lot of fun with her there and she did so well in the car. We got home scratch free!

Upon introducing her to Donnie, Moogle was a little iffy. She would puff up and hiss at Donnie, while Donnie was so excited and wanted to play with her. Later on that evening, with Donnie on my lap, Moogle came up onto the couch, walked up to Donnie, and just smacked him right in the face. Chris and I laughed about it, but Donnie was obviously stunned, and we did our best to tell Moogle (who doesn’t understand a word we say) that what she did was wrong.

That night we slept with Moogle in our bed. I was only woken up once when she got on my night stand, and she purrs so loud! We couldn’t believe it! We were also so thrilled that she knew where her litter box was, because I didn’t want to wake up and see kitty poo all on the carpet. On Sunday, Moogle was getting used to being inside and getting used to being around Donnie. Donnie, however, wanted nothing to do with her. His excitement about having a little buddy quickly changed to him being afraid of her. Whenever she would get on the couch, Donnie would move away and not even look in her direction. He was basically being a stuck up diva.

Today is different. The two of them are getting used to each other, and they even played around a little bit. I know the change will be difficult for Donnie because he has been the baby for so long and he will probably get jealous. It will just take some time. Hopefully he doesn’t become a little brat.

So now… I give you to – Moogle!!!

- She Who Has The Last Word

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