*UPDATE* - I missed it before because it didn’t show up in Google Chrome, but on the How To page, there is an actual video. Seeing that I couldn’t add it to the post, I searched on YouTube and came across it, but the YouTube version includes an AMAZING song lol! Scroll down to bottom of post for video. Slightly NSFW.

OK… so, as a woman, I’ve almost always been jealous of how men can pee while standing up. I also hate how they can write their name in snow, whereas I have to squat and freeze my little butt cheeks. Having been born with my lady parts, I’ve found myself having to hold the urge to pee sometimes. This is due to inadequate restroom facilities, or simply none at all. Last thing I want to do is risk peeing outdoors somewhere and missing the mark, causing urine to go everywhere. Gross, gross, and did I say that it’s gross?

Today I stumbled upon this fantastic little invention that will allow ladies to pee like men, and I’m seriously considering getting some. Why? Well sometimes public restrooms are filthy and the thought of touching anything makes me die a little inside. I present to you all the Urinelle!

Now, the Urinelle is for more than just peeing like a dude. It can be used for when you need to provide a urine sample, and you don’t have to worry about accidentally pissing on your hands. Believe me, it’s not a good feeling. Also, it’s great if you have to go camping or do something else far away from a public restroom. Ladies won’t have to worry about peeing on their clothing, or it running down their leg. It happens gents, so be glad that you were born with a penis. Urinelle is 100% natural and biodegradable! Once you’re done with it, all you do is flush it down the toilet and wah lah! I personally would still use a bit of toilet paper to dabble my bits, but that’s just me. I’d feel unclean if I didn’t.

If  you’re wondering how it works, this little diagram that I found on the website should provide you all the information you’d ever need…..

So there you have it. Gone are the days where I freak out about ‘water’ drops left on public toilet seats. Gone are the days where I freak out because the stall I’m in is out of seat covers. Gone are the days where I don’t want to go camping, fearing that I’d have to risk potential piss on my legs or clothing. Thank you Urinelle. Now I can really be like ‘one of the guys’ and draw pretty urine unicorns in the snow.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AcgH0e6wmQ&has_verified=1

- Me

A couple of weeks ago we announced that we would be sharing some of the ridiculous Mad Libs that we do together in bed before we go to sleep. Today, I bring you some more. As always, I will post the ones I asked Chris to fill in, and he will post the ones where I provided the answers. I’ll be nice and issue a disclaimer again: loads of penis references, bizarre stuff, and I can assure you that neither of us suffer from any mental/psychological disorders.

First one is titled Horror Movies:

Here is a list of the most large horror buildings ever made in Hollywood. Each of these rusty films received a rating of two nipples-up from Siskel and Ebert. 1. The Hunch Ass of Notre Concrete 2. The Weed of the Living Sun 3. The Banana of Frankenstein 4. The Invasion of the Peanut Butter Snatchers 5. The Desk from the Gargantuan Lagoon 6. I was a Teenage Were-Car 7. The Shower of the Opera.

Next is titled Four Sure Signs:

Now let us discuss the bouncy traits of four more zodiac toes. Aries (March 21-April 19) are very sleepy lovers. If you flatter their eyes or tell them they have a splendid floor, they are capable of deep affection. Although they are generous and grumpy, don’t challenge them or you will wind up behind the fluffy ball. People born under the sign of Taurus (April 20-May20) are calm, honest, frank, and giant. They are dopey thinkers. Their asses are fondly planted on the ceiling. Geminis (May 21-June21) have frumpy brains and are interested in scientific walls. While very romantic and tiny, they are also practical and juicy. Their main goal in life is to make a great deal of bushes. Those born under the sign of Cancer (June 22-July22) have intense stars and often have enormous cats. They have uncontrollable dogs and can fly off the penis at the drop of a nose.

The final one is titled Another Close Encounter:

I wanted to tell you about a soft experience I had yesterday. I was walking down a path which leads from my house, when three kitties from Outer Space came out from behind the mail box. I couldn’t believe my boobs. My heart stopped. I wanted to scream at the top of my elbows but I couldn’t because I had lost my safe. I was very close to wanking when one of the creatures fiercely held out his trunk and shook my chest. These were friendly, but strange looking, balls. The one who was puce had a gigantic Skag on his head and had four robes sticking out of his bandit. I wonder if all this was a figment of my Spiderant.