I understand that a company as large as Microsoft requires a very large technical support staff.  I can understand that putting their technical support centers in India is more cost-effective for them.  I can understand that, since the centers are in India, they are more likely to use scripts and automatic emails to get over the language barrier.  I understand all of this, and  yet I am furious at their ineptitude.

Me while emailing and phoning Xbox tech support

Four days ago (Saturday), I bought a replacement black wireless Xbox 360 controller for Lindsey, as she had spilled nail polish and ginger ale over her previous controller.  This replacement controller came in a special bundle.  For an additional $10, I was able to acquire a game disc called the “Xbox Live Arcade Game Pack”, which included, playable from the disc, Bomberman Live, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2, and Lumines Live.  A download code for Ms. Pac-Man was also included as part of the deal.  In case I have not been specific enough, only Ms. Pac-Man was downloadable, the other three games were on the disc, playable from the disc, and not downloadable whatsoever.  I specify because this little fact is important later on.  I was excited about this pack.  I enjoyed the demos for Geometry Wars and Lumines, but the lion’s share of my excitement stemmed from my decades-long love of Bomberman.  What can I say?  I’m Middle-Eastern.  Blowing stuff up must be in my blood.

Right.  We now come to the problem which created the need for technical support.  The download code for Ms. Pac-Man worked, and Geometry Wars and Lumines could be played off the disc, but Bomberman Live would not play.  When I first tried loading it, I was greeted with a dialog informing me that an update was available for the game.  I chose to download the update, as I usually do.  I was then greeted with a new dialog that said the update could not be found, and that I should contact Xbox support.  I was then told that I would need to “re-download the game package” and was sent directly to the Xbox Live Marketplace, where I would be charged the full 800 points to purchase Bomberman Live, regardless of the fact that I had the full version on a disc.  I quickly went to the support website and submit a request for assistance via email, detailing my issue in much the same way as I have done here for you.  All of the major points were included, so there could be no confusion as to what my problem was.

Sunday comes along and I receive a reply to my support request via email:

Hello Christopher,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft online support for XBOX. I am July and I will be helping you today with this issue.

I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your Xbox Live Account. In order to isolate what is causing the problem and to give you the correct steps to resolve the issue, please provide us with more specific details.

• Type of account subscription (Silver or Gold)
• The type of connection you are using (direct modem, router, wireless, gateway, Windows ICS)
• The phase where the Xbox Live Connection test fails (Network Adapter, Wireless Network, IP Address, DNS, MTU, ICMP, Xbox LIVE, NAT)
• The exact error message that you are encountering
• Please include other details that can help identify the issue.

We look forward to hearing from you again and helping you resolve your problem.

To expedite service, please provide Service Request Number 1120205162.

Thank you for visiting Xbox.com. If you should have future questions on Xbox products or services, please be sure to revisit our Web site as we are continually adding information to enhance our service.

Best Regards,

July

Microsoft XBOX Support Services

http://support.microsoft.com/

As you can see, this has no relevance to my issue whatsoever, and is obviously a canned response.  My reply:

Good morning,

I am not having a problem with my Xbox Live connection.  I gave the
problem details in my original submission.  I purchased a new wireless
controller for my 360, and it came bundled with the Xbox Live Arcade
game pack, which included Geometry Wars 2, Bomberman Live, Lumines
Live, and a download code for Ms. Pac-Man.  The download code worked,
and so far, Geometry Wars 2 and Lumines Live work.  However, when I
load Bomberman Live, it requires an update.  I am then told that the
update can not be found, or that I have to re-download the entire
game.  I want to play Bomberman Live, since I paid for it, and I love
Bomberman.  Please make that happen.

I had already fully explained the situation in my original submission, so this brief reminder seemed appropriate.  I hoped this would have been sufficient to get them back on track and fix my issue.  Let’s read their next response (received on Tuesday) and see if they’ve managed to pull it together:

Hello Christopher,

Thank you for using XBOX Customer Support online! I am Jenice and I will be helping you today with this issue.

As I understand that when you try to download an update on your Xbox 360 console, the auto-update stops during the download and you do not receive an error message. Please be assured that I will do my best to help you resolve the issue.

Also, you may experience one of the following:

. The auto-update fails. You receive a connectivity error message, but when you test your connection to Xbox Live, you do not receive an error message.

. After you download an auto-update for a game, you receive a message that states that you must download the same auto-update.

. After you download an auto-update, you cannot connect to Xbox Live. Additionally, you cannot access functions that you could previously access.

Here are some things that you can try to resolve the issue or to determine what the cause is.

1.  If you experience the first or second symptom that is listed in the “Symptoms” section, use a direct connection to download the auto-update. For more information about how to set up a direct connection, visit the website: http://www.xbox.com/en-US/Support online/connecttolive/xbox360/connectionmethods/modem.htm

Note: This method applies to auto-updates for games and for the Xbox Dashboard.

2.  If you experience all the symptoms that are listed in the “Symptoms” section, delete the game data.

Warning: When you delete game data, you lose any saved game information.

Note: Copy the saved game data to a separate memory source so that you can restore the data if this step does not resolve the issue.

To delete game data, follow these steps:

a. Sign in by using your gamertag.

b. Move to the System section.

c. Select Memory, and then press the A button.

d. Select Hard Drive, and then press the A button.

e. Select Games, and then press the A button.

f. Select the profile that you want to view, and then press the A button.

g. On the Select Game screen, select the game for which the update will not download, and then press the Y button.

h. On the Game screen, press the A button to delete the game.

Note: The Delete option is the only option that is available on the Game screen.

i. On the Delete Item screen, select Yes, and then press the A button to confirm the deletion.

j. Press the B button four times to return to the System section.

k. Start the game, and then sign in to Xbox Live to download the update again.

If you need to reply to this e-mail, please reply ‘with history’ (include any previous e-mail) or reference to Service Request Number 1120205162 so we can expedite our service to you.

Thank you for visiting Xbox.com. If you should have future questions on Xbox products or services, please be sure to revisit our Web site as we are continually adding information to enhance our service.

Best Regards,

Jenice

Microsoft XBOX Support Services

http://support.microsoft.com/

Failure, again, to comprehend the simplest of explanations.  I reply thusly, having become slightly frustrated:

PLEASE READ MY EMAIL AND ANSWER INSTEAD OF CONTINUOUSLY SENDING
PRE-WRITTEN RESPONSES THAT HAVE NO RELEVANCE TO MY ISSUE:

“Good morning,

I am not having a problem with my Xbox Live connection.  I gave the
problem details in my original submission.  I purchased a new wireless
controller for my 360, and it came bundled with the Xbox Live Arcade
game pack, which included Geometry Wars 2, Bomberman Live, Lumines
Live, and a download code for Ms. Pac-Man.  The download code worked,
and so far, Geometry Wars 2 and Lumines Live work.  However, when I
load Bomberman Live, it requires an update.  I am then told that the
update can not be found, or that I have to re-download the entire
game.  I want to play Bomberman Live, since I paid for it, and I love
Bomberman.  Please make that happen.”

IT’S NOT THAT HARD!

At this point, I had given up on their ability to understand written language, so I decided that, perhaps, a more personal attempt should be made.  Yesterday, after sending my reply, I called Xbox support directly.  After I made my way through their interminable voice activated menu system (which I loathe, incidentally), I was greeted by “Jason,” and we were underway.  After explaining my issue to him (three times) in bits and pieces (due to his constant interruptions) he asked for my name and my Xbox Live gamertag.  Spelling my name for him took approximately five minutes, as I had to keep correcting his mistakes as he repeated it back to me.  My gamertag took an additional two or three minutes, as it is a whopping seven letters long, and well beyond his difficulty level, apparently.  At this point, his script told him to clarify the issue once more.  As he was explaining the issue, I again had to correct his mistakes and set the record straight, since apparently the first three explanations weren’t sufficient.  Eventually, we get to the troubleshooting point, and, as I was at work and not near my Xbox, he claimed he would not be able to help me, and asked me to call back later.  That cost me close to 45 minutes of my day.

I called back when I got home and spoke with “Brian.”  I explained my situation again (this time only twice) and awaited assistance.  My name and gamertag had already been recorded, apparently, so I was not required to suffer through such an ordeal again, thankfully.  I did have quite a hard time with this call, however, because of their hold system.  For some reason, during the hour long call, whenever I was put on hold I was not treated to smooth listening hold music, but dozens of technical support conversations all at once.  Needless to say, it was discomforting.  About 40 minutes in, the hold “noise” suddenly changed to the smooth listening music I had expected.  Approximately 30 seconds later, they corrected their apparent mistake and returned me to the cacophony that had been previously assaulting my senses.  I eventually was told that I would be given a download code for Bomberman Live, but that a higher level of support would have to give me the code.  He connected me with the higher level of support, “Aaron,” who proceeded to inform me (eventually, after more hold music and questions) that I would receive a callback from support in “48-72 hours” with a resolution to this issue.  Frustrated, I decided to accept this and end the call.  I now await the return call that will, ideally, give me download codes for not only Bomberman Live, but Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 and Lumines Live, in case the same issue should arise with those games at a future date.

Now, some would think that this would be the end of the story.  I certainly did.  Unfortunately, we are quite mistaken.  Mere hours after my phone call ended, I received this third email from Xbox support:

Hello Christopher,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft online support for XBOX. I am Rio and I will be helping you today with this issue.

I understand that you are unable to access a downloaded content that you purchased from the Xbox live Marketplace.

My apologies for the inconvenience that you are having right now but rest assured that we will extend our resources to the full extent in order for us to help you regarding this concern.

Sometimes, you may not be able to access or use downloadable game content because the content has become corrupted.

Here are some things that you can try to resolve the issue:

1. Delete the downloadable content, and then download the content again. To delete downloadable game content that is corrupted, follow these steps:

a.       Sign in to Xbox LIVE by using your Gamertag.

b.      In the Xbox Dashboard, select System, and then press the A button.

c.       Select Memory, and then press the A button.

d.      On the Storage Devices screen, select Hard Drive, and then press the A button.

e.       On the Hard Drive screen, select Games, and then press the A button.

f.        On the Games screen, select the game title that you want, and then press the A button.

g.       On the individual game screen, select the downloadable content that you want to delete, and then press the A button.

h.       On the content screen, press the A button to delete the content.

Note Delete is the only option that is available on this screen.

i.         On the Delete Item screen, select Yes, and then press the A button to confirm the action.

j.        On the individual game screen, press the B button four times to return to the System section.

k.      Start the game that you want. Then, sign in to Xbox LIVE to download the game content again.

To download previously purchased or previously downloaded content, use one of the following methods.

Download from the Xbox 360 console.

1.                  Attach the hard drive or the memory unit to your Xbox 360 console.

2.                  Turn on your Xbox 360 console.

3.                  Sign in to Xbox LIVE by using the gamer profile that originally downloaded the content.

4.                  Press the Xbox 360 Guide button, and then go to the Settings area. Select Account Management, and then select Download History.

5.                  Select the content item, and then select Download Again to download the item.

6.                  Repeat step 5 for each item in your download history that you want to recover.

Download from Xbox.com

1.                  Visit the following Xbox LIVE Web Marketplace Web site to access the My Account area:

http://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/myAccount/PurchaseHistory.aspx

2.                  Select each item that you want to download, and then click Add to Queue. The selected items will automatically appear in the console’s Active Downloads area of the console on which you are currently signed in to Xbox LIVE.

2. Clear the system cache.

To clear the Xbox 360 Hard Drive cache, follow these steps:

1. Reattach the Xbox Hard Drive.

2. Locate the System section of the Xbox 360 Dashboard.

3. Select Memory, and then press the Y button to view the device options screen.

4. On the Xbox 360 Controller, press the following items in this sequence:

• X button
• X button
• Left bumper
• Right bumper
• X button
• X button

5. When you are prompted to confirm system maintenance, select Yes by pressing the A button.

Should you need to reply to this e-mail, please reply ‘with history’ (include any previous e-mail) or reference to Service Request Number 1120205162 so we can expedite our service to you.

Thank you for visiting Xbox.com. If you should have future questions on Xbox products or services, please be sure to revisit our Web site as we are continually adding information to enhance our service.

Best Regards,

Rio

Microsoft XBOX Support Services

http://support.microsoft.com/

The point was missed yet again, unsurprisingly.  My reply requested that they stop sending me incompetent emails, as I had phoned tech support and received some modicum of understanding from their end.  We shall see what comes next.

All I wanted to do was play some fucking Bomberman Live.

-[insert revolutionary thinking here]

Over the last few days we finally received our renewal cards for our annual Xbox Live gold memberships.  My renewal card came with a new wired headset, a messenger pad, and Project Gotham Racing 4 (which we traded in at Target for Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga).  Lindsey’s renewal card was a 12+1, so she has 13 months of gold membership.  We’re looking forward to applying the renewals and not having to worry about it for a year.

Woo!

-Because I said so

Today, for all you Halo fans, is Bungie Day. The creators of the Halo series, Bungie, have an affinity for the number 7. Since today is 7/7/09 that makes it Bungie Day!

If you own Halo 3 and have an Xbox Live account, you can go into the special playlist “Bungie vs. The World” so that you can be matched up with some of the Bungie staff. If you win the round with them, you will be awarded Recon armor. They even have a Scoreboard going where you can track how the games are going.

Typically on special days, presents are given… right? RIGHT! Bungie has gifted us with images of 3 upcoming maps that will be on Halo: ODST. If you ever played Halo 2, most of you will be familiar with the new map Heretic. It’s an updated version of Midship, and if you ever played on Midship you will remember all of the strategies you and your team can execute to own your opponents.

Image Courtesy of Bungie

The next map is Citadel, a long abandoned Forerunner stronghold. It’s a small, symmetrical map and offers little safety for players looking to hide out and camp. Citadel’s tight quarters force you and your team to really work together, keeping up constant communication, and keeping an eye out. Citadel will also force players who are used to long range battles, especially with the sniper, to change up their tactics and adjust to close combat tactics.

Image Courtesy of Bungie

The third, and final map, Bungie showed today was Longshore. It’s located at Old Mombasa and used to be a port. It’s great for large scale combat but can be used for smaller battles. Longshore appears to be a cluster of industrial buildings and will feature elevated walks as well as open areas. Longshore seems like the type of map where you can come up with many diverse strategies ranging from long range to close.

Image Courtesy of Bungie

Hopefully the images of the new maps have you all excited. I know I am, and I can’t wait until Halo: ODST is released. As more information is given, we will be sure to update you all!

- She Who Has The Last Word.

Yesterday, we joined the ranks of Xbox 360 owners.  Even more exclusively, we are a proud owner of an Xbox 360 Elite console.  We received it as a joint birthday gift yesterday from my mother (Lindsey’s birthday is tomorrow, mine is in October).  As an added gift, Chris & Kelly purchased The Orange Box for Lindsey’s birthday.  To complete our day, we rounded up all of the games we no longer cared about and traded them in for a brand new second controller from GameStop!

We already had Halo 3, as I purchased the Legendary Edition last year, forseeing a time when I would have a 360.  We had Crackdown, but it was one of the games we traded in for the new controller.  We have Fable II, as it came with the Elite.

This puts our game list, so far, at:

Halo 3, Fable II, and The Orange Box (which includes Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2, and Portal).

Once we had it set up, Lindsey started trying to find a new gamer tag.  After about half an hour of attempts, she finally found one she was happy with.  She went through her setup process, and relinquished the controls to me.  I spent about 5 minutes searching for a gamer tag before I found one that worked for me, then I finished my setup process.  Afterwards, we set up Netflix to stream movies to the 360, and got started!

It’s been a blast so far.  We’ve spent the whole day playing Halo 3, Portal, and various Live Arcade games and demos.  Our Xbox Live Gamertag pages are in our links section to the right of the page.  See you guys on Xbox Live!

-Because I said so

I never played Halo 2 very often.  I’m not particularly brilliant at it, and never have been.  I’m getting better, but it’s a slow process.  Lindsey, on the other hand, is a fiend.  She was very well known on Xbox Live, and was a very skilled player.  She gave it up for a couple of years, but a few nights ago, the urge to play hit her hard, and we found ourselves playing Halo 2 online.  As an added bonus, I found myself being constantly berated and vented on by my ever-loving wife because of my lack of skill.

Needless to say, we had a little discussion about both of our shortcomings, and are working together to improve ourselves in our game play and game attitude.

Anyway, for the most part we’ve been having a lot of fun with it.  Lindsey has reconnected with some old Halo 2 friends, and I’m learning more and more about the game with each match played.

-Because I said so

Lindsey and I were up very late a few nights ago, and we noticed something on the Sci-Fi channel called “WCG Ultimate Gamer”.  Both of us being avid gamers, this piqued our curiosity, and we switched over.  What we saw was a re-run of the first episode of WCG Ultimate Gamer, a “reality” competition show with video game challenges.  It’s a very interesting show, and the subject matter is being handled very well (although neither of us are fond of the female presenter).  The “real-life” challenges are fun to watch, as are the “isolation” challenges.  The face-off elimination at the end of each show is also very entertaining.  Of course, with any “reality” competition type show like this, they all live in the same house, so a portion of each episode is dedicated to drama and conflict between the gamers involved (shock!).  However, while the conflict and drama (see how I switched it up there?) can have an effect on the elimination portion of the show, it generally takes a backseat to the gaming and the competition, which I find to be very nice.

Now, Lindsey and I have played video games all our lives.  I remember as a child playing Airlock, Tanks, Frogger, Pitfall, Pac-Man, Breakout, Pong, and more on the Atari 2600 my parents received as a wedding gift way back when.  Lindsey got her first NES when she was 5, and loved it.  Both of us continued purchasing new systems as they came out, always looking forward to the next great game.  Lindsey, however, outpaced me in the field of online play (something I never really got into).  In her experience with online gaming via Xbox Live, as well as her attendance of MLG events and tournaments, she became very familiar with many of the great “pro” gamers and top contenders.  Imagine her surprise when she saw one of her very good friends from that scene as one of the competitors on WCG Ultimate Gamer (Robert, aka Prodigy X)?  Then imagine her surprise when she saw someone she despised (MrsViolence), and someone she disliked (Athena) on the show as well (the despised one was sent home when she lost the Virtua Fighter 5 elimination face-off).  It’s always fun to see people you know on TV.  It’s even more fun when they’re someone you don’t like and you can watch them fail in front of millions of people.

-Because I said so